I cried reading this.
I feel very sorry for you to have to live through this.
If this happened recently - you need to talk to your doctor or nurse at the baby health centre. You maybe suffering from "baby blue" (not postnatal depression, baby blue is your hormones affecting your emotion - caused by your pregnancy).
You can take your newborn baby to the shops in Australia - just need to pick a time when they are not busy to cut down the chance of contact and infection.