Altho I seldom reply to any posts, I have been following your threads for a long time, and like others, have been very worried for you. Everytime I read your posts my heart grips tight and eyes sting hot. I don't know what I can do or what else to say to comfort you, there are already many wise mamas here to give you words of encouragement. But this I can promise - I will keep you in my prayers every night, and ask God to help you bear your burdens and grief, and send more angels by your side. Don't give up.
Like 迪迪洛洛媽媽 says, you have got 2 most wonderous treasures in your life, and it is good enough a reason for you to carry on. I'm sure a lot of mamas here will be so envious of your wonderful, outstanding and loving son. It will be tough at the start, but let time heal your sorrows. Be strong for your son, for your husband, and for yourself.
Please please take good care of yourself. If you don't feel like doing it for yourself, do it as a repayment to your husband and sons' unfailing love for you.
And all the BK mamas will be here to support you at the same time.