A lot of us care about you, and worry about you... its good to have you here expressing how you feel... so that we know how you are doing, and we feel your pain too..
Please know that you are everything to your son now, and if you don't care for yourself, your son will feel exactly how you feel now... that is pain....
I am sure you two can get through this, be strong for your son, he is only 5.... and take care of yourself too..